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Where I live now and the communities I find myself a part of are distinct. By this I mean out side of the mainstream, for example Rastafarian, spiritualists, conservative Christians, Orisha, Vegan, vegetarian, raw-foodies labels and more labels.

Sometimes I feel like a fraud because I don’t wish to identify with any. I am a part-time vegetarian, with no religious affiliation, sympathizing with Christian, Afric/kan traditionalists, Muslim, Hindu, Bhudism everybody almost.  I remember Neyo in The Matrix talking to the techie guy who ran the ship’s communications. The guy though now being on “the outside of the matrix” spoke reminiscently of the things he missed in the matrix.  Am I like that guy, I often ask myself; can’t make up my mind whether I will be here or there.  And even missing things from the other side if I ever momentarily choose a side.

There is something good in being able to see merit in everything. But not choosing… Is that some kind flake out? Failure to choose a path in life? To be disciplined at anything? That can’t be good.

So what is it? Especially now when, we more than ever, feel free and empowered to be whatever we want to be.  Is it ok to just sympathize with everything and everybody while not fully committing to anything. Maybe commit to all of them, though time and other constraints  as we know them wont allow for that just yet.   Like I agree a vegan lifestyle is 100% better for over all health. Simultaneously, I placate with organic chicken consumption for those who are unable  convert to complete vegan for the moment or just period. I have tons of other scenarios where I am just on the fence.

I think this type of fence sitting, being able to see merit in everything can lead to indecisiveness. Incidentally, I  am plagued by indecisiveness, or as I like to think;  I like to see what is available and weigh my options. I am sure there are self cures on Youtube or whatever for this affliction.

There are somethings I am pretty sure about. E.g. the values of discipline, duty, harmony, modesty, spirituality, fitness, health, self love, self acceptance, love for others, clean space, service. These things and a few other I am very sure about.

 

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